Sex, like all things, is righteous to the extent that heaven meets earth there. In modern times, the physical drama of sex is OVERVALUED, while its spiritual meaning is under appreciated. We tend to overemphasize, to literally idolize sex, not because we appreciate its importance but because we do not. By cheapening sex, we fail to honor it. By casting a garish, ugly light upon its every detail, we hide our faces from its mystery.
Sex is not, in its essence, about the body at ALL. It is an opportunity for us to remove our emotional armor with someone who wants us to remove it and who want to remove his or her own. Problems occur when we have sex with people who have NO desire whatsoever for us to be so naked in their presence, who have no sense of the sacred responsibility it is to hold another person’s heart in their hands.
Sex, when it is a vehicle for love, is HOLY. Sex without love is dangerous. It leads to pain and some level of emotional destruction, whether consciously experienced immediately or not. Sex should be a deepening of communication, not a substitute for it. Sex that is sacred is a marriage of hearts. In this fierce and fiery joining the beginning of the world is reenacted. Something is born whether we conceive or not, for we are chemically altered, profoundly changed by the act of having fully expressed ourselves and shared our love so deeply.
It is one of our sicker cultural obscenities that we present sex to our children via media in such incredibly CASUAL, loveless images. It is an area where the modern home is bombarded with darkness: Where sex is degraded, love is degraded; where love is degraded, the world falls apart. But when honesty, vulnerability and kindness form a backdrop to the emotional risk of the moment, sex is an experience of great light. Its healing power is legion.
Great sex is emotional starlight. We have sex a million times in an effort to achieve that one in a million. If we had over-the-moon sex on a regular basis, sex that rings from the soul and sends shock waves through us, there would be LESS disease, LESS anger and probably LESS war. If every man and woman alive could feel the crazy, delirious rush of the soul when it touches the soul of another, this world would be a happier place.
God celebrates pleasure: only people condemn it. Our demeaning, gross and pathetic attempts to sexualize the world inappropriately - libidinizing products that we do not need in order to manufacture false desire to feed our commercial machinery - is an immorality. It lacks RESPECT not only for human beings, but also for the role that sex can and should play in a spiritually mature existence.
Why do we as a culture sensationalize and exploit dark and meaningless sex? Because we lack the experience of its dazzling light. In failing to cultivate a healthy respect for sexual power, we become vulnerable to its misuse. Anything repressed expresses itself inappropriately. A righteous experience of sex cannot be found outside a spiritual center, an authentic human soulfulness, because nothing can. That which is within us can save us, but the same things misused are the things that will destroy us.
There’s a state of being that is raw and authentic and fiercely graceful, like a great ballerina dancing in her prime. Sex in that place is more than just sex. With every couple who make it past the sad disconnection of sex that’s just sex to the fire at our center, the world is brought closer to the end of its pain. How excruciating to have touched that place, and then to land unsuspectingly back in the world as we knew it: the cold, nonintimate, unsoft world of people who cannot find each other. That’s why we should NEVER have sex casually.
If you’re not with a person who’s an artist at love, the art of love is a dangerous game. A lot of people can join us for the view of heaven that sex can give. But there aren’t a lot of people who can stay awake in the morning, who have the personal skills to hold on to the vision once the sun has risen and the world is calling. It takes depth and maturity, or the innocence of youth, to have the personality structure it takes to cherish today whom we cherished last night.
So be careful but be brave - that’s what the good witch of good sex would tell us. And God - what would He say? Oh, I think He would say, be careful but be brave. In your arms you are holding the most precious creature: my child in whom I am adoringly pleased. Love him and honor him, be kind to him and bring him deep peace. Pray that your energies might bless him and protect him. Surrender your heart and surrender your soul. Pray before, pray during, pray after."